Friday, July 27, 2007

Pac-10 Media Day results

As expected, USC was the unanimous choice to finish first in the Pac-10 this season with Cal being voted second and a slew of teams after that that no one really cares about. Aside from the media jerk-off that spawns original questions like "who's the favorite this year", "how do you see your team performing", blah,blah,blah. Lets get to the real juicy parts, the memorable quotes. And this year, there were plenty. Here are a few. And what better way to start than at Stanford. Bottoms up!

Stanford coach Jim Harbaugh:
"There's no question in my mind that USC is the best football team in the country," he said, "and maybe the best team in the history of college football."
Wow. That was some backtracking if I've ever seen some. His earlier comments about Carroll leaving could be true or could be a ploy to stop recruits from wanting to play at SC. At this point, who cares? Stanford has to visit the Coliseum and I guar-ONTEE that Carroll will floor it like Ridge Racer the whole game. Harbaugh and the trees won't shit right for a week.

Cal receiver DeSean Jackson:
"I don't know about all the talk...I mean, they lost all their receivers. They're a great team, a great program. But separating them from the rest of the conference? That's uncalled for.They lost last season to Oregon State and UCLA, teams we beat," Jackson continued. "That shows us right there they can be beaten. And this year, they gotta come to Cal. I ain't gonna support all this talk too much."
Hey douchebag, thats completely called for. You might have beat the teams we lost to, but I believe we beat the team that you lost to, Arizona. Oh, and I almost forgot. We beat the team that you play for, bitch. You must be feeling that concussion from last year because USC's 2007 defense will crush your nuts, after they smash your face. The next time you open your mouth, Rey will close it (and your life), permanently. This guy is garbage. Next.

Arizona State coach Dennis Erickson:
"They're as good a football program as there is and maybe should be playing in that league (the NFL) where I had so much success."
Well, thats a fine compliment if I ever heard one. Its gonna be a privilege seeing Sedrick Ellis plant Fruity Carpenter all over the warm Tempe grass. That to go along with the victory turkey after the Thanksgiving rape. There's nothing like taken (not given) vagina followed by some turkey and sweet potatoes. Mmmmm...

UCLA head victim Karl Dorrell:
"The reputation of this conference is there's one school -- and everybody else. The coaches in this conference, we don't like that."
Christ.Winning the NutJob bowl would have done wonders for your rep and the Pac-10, so congrats on losing to Bobby Bowden's worst team in like 80 years, asshole. You know what else coaches in this conference don't like? Coaches that hire felons who burglarize homes and carry guns. As much as we would like Karl Dorrell to stay a few more years, I have a feeling that Pete Carroll finally finishes this jerkoff once and for all. You can only run for so long, before December 1st finds you.

As usual, Pac-10 media does a brilliant job of telling the nation what they already know. USC will win the Pac-10 and other coaches simply masturbate to Pete Carroll and his God-given ability to recruit, coach, and destroy. Witness the beast in Southern California in 2007. Next stop: Fall Camp. Enjoy your weekend.


RG3 said...

Here is an assortment of replies to the quotes from the Pac-10 Media Day:

Stanford: I think the spread for the Stanford game might be more lopsided than the Idaho game, if you can fathom that. The inevitable rape of the Cardinal and their shitty tree mascot might go down as the point when the Stanford Athletic Director finally decides to cut the D-1 football program.

Cal-Jackson: Fuck Cal. DeShaun Jackson is a fucking pussy. He was afraid real competition and the pace of Trojan practices and chose not to come to our fine school. Boy, that really turned out well for him. The only "talk" that piece of shit is going to hear is from the paramedics trying to revive his unconscious body after Ellison finishes him off on Nov. 10.

Arizona St.: When was the last time college football mattered in Tempe other than the Fiesta Bowl? The key word in Erickson's quote is of the success he "had." Look where he's at now. Fuck that guy.

UCLGay: It's going to be sad to see Dorrell's final visit to the Coliseum this December. I guess he's just going to have to find some other way to be a joke other than coaching. Some people are just born failures.

mel kiper fan said...

I think the character Jack Parkman from Major League II can sum it up best:

USC's the only winner in the Pac-10. The rest of 'em, they're losers, either by choice, or by birth.