Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Countdown to Kickoff: 9 Days

As we continue our daily countdown toward the 2007 season, we are now only 9 days away from wrecking Idaho in the Coliseum. Throughout the countdown, we have thrown the word “beast” around pretty loosely, but no one embodies the word the way David Ausberry does. This guy is a BEAST. At 6’4” and a solid 225 lbs, opposing cornerbacks are going to have to use several towels to wipe their face after they get bukkaked by Ausberry in the red zone. The redshirt freshman has been named a starter along with Patrick Turner in what will be the most dominant wide receiver tandem in all of college football. These guys are going to get big shit poppin'.

David Ausberry has had impressive Spring and Fall Camps. After being named the 2006 Service Team Offensive Player of the Year, it was only logical that Ausberry would make progress and earn himself plenty of playing time. Ausberry has had plenty of success dating back to his high school days at Lemoore (Calif.) High. He was named a 2004 Parade All-American, USA Today All-USA first team, ESPN 150, Prep Star All-Western, U.S. Army All-American Game participant, and an All-League Offensive MVP as a senior wide receiver, defensive back and punter, yes you read right, PUNTER. After this season, Ausberry will be able to add ALL-WORLD to his impressive resume.

Image Hosted by <span class=
Photo taken from

I had the pleasure of having Ausberry in my Sociology class last semester and his mere presence in the classroom was intimidating. He would simply dominate the room as soon as he entered and I was honored just to be in the same room with him.

All of us here at USC Sports Talk are looking forward to seeing Ausberry dominate on the football field this season. We were never able to see what Mike Williams and Dwayne Jarrett could do if they were ever on the field at the same time. Now that Patrick Turner and David Ausberry will be lining up at the same time, opposing defensive coordinators can only pray that they don’t give up more than 400 yards through the air against these guys. It might get nasty, especially with the majority of corners being short and shitty these days. I expect Ausberry to get unleashed early and often in every game so the world can see his Secretariat-like stride.

Here are some more interesting facts about David Ausberry:

Legend has it that it was David Ausberry and not Secretariat who won the 1973 Triple Crown. Ausberry won the Belmont Stakes by 31 lengths seen below.

Image Hosted by <span class=

Michael Jordan did not lead the Chicago Bulls to 6 NBA Championships. David Ausberry did.

David Ausberry can dribble a football.

David Ausberry sired the entire starting lineup of the 1927 New York Yankees World Championship team.

David Ausberry is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

David Ausberry doesn’t sleep. He waits.

David Ausberry has two speeds: run, and kill.

David Ausberry can divide by zero.

David Ausberry floats like a butterfly and stings like a Tomahawk Cruise Missile. At Mach 3. In the face.
Image Hosted by <span class=


mel kiper fan said...

My theory is that Ausberry is a direct descendant of Secretariat

Joey said...

This guy is sick....just sick....